


Color Me Free

by Scrivoio



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: & he's also oblivious as fuck, Abandonment Issues, Angst, Damaged Goods, Everyone Is Gay, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magnus Bane Is A Freewheeling Bisexual, Tags to be added as I go, Trust Issues, alec is a sweetheart, alec sings adele in the shower, and he's crushing harder than a twelve year old girl, camille is a moldy avocado, maryse and robert's a+ parenting, only kinda, suburban lawns is a good band
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 15:16:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13616079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scrivoio/pseuds/Scrivoio
Summary: “Relax, darling. Truth is, I’m desperate for a roommate. My friend, Ragnor? God, it was awful. He wouldn’t stop having the loudest sex and, really, you know how these Brooklyn walls are. Too thin for much privacy, really. And, unfortunately, I’m not much of a voyeur.” He frowns regretfully. “It could have been fun. Anyway, as it was, I had to tell him that it was either him or the revolving door of men, and one of them had to go. Now he lives in East Harlem with Raphael, across the hall from Señora Martinez. Lovely old lady. Deaf as can be, bless her soul.”-or the story of how Alec goes looking for an apartment but finds love instead.





	Color Me Free

The boy was quiet.

That was the first thing Magnus noticed. He even looked quiet, if that made sense. His eyes were dark, shrouded by a messy mop of dark hair. His shoulders were broad, hunched as if he were trying to make himself smaller. As if he was ashamed. As if he was trying to hide.

The boy was beautiful, too.

That was the second thing Magnus noticed about him. His sweater was old and worn, covered in holes, but it somehow didn’t manage to quite hide the trim of his waist or the spread of his shoulders. His hair looked artfully tousled, but if the dark circles around his eyes were anything to go by, it had more to do with nerves and bedhead than good products. When Magnus had answered the door to a pair of tired, watery blue eyes, especially attached to such a specimen, his initial reaction had been, in his opinion, perfectly founded.

“Are you lost, darling?”

“I don’t… I don’t think? I mean, I saw… I saw that you need a roommate? My name’s Alec, by the way, and I, uh, I’m looking for a place? And I’ve got… I don’t have a job, yet, but I’m looking. And I’ve got at least enough cash for two months’ rent? And I-”

“Say no more,” Magnus smiles, unable to believe his luck. “Do you have your bags with you?”

The boy’s eyes widen. “You’re just going to let me in? Just like that?”

Magnus rolls his eyes. “Fine. Be that way.” He made to shut the door.

The boy’s eyes seem to open wider, if possible. “No! No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that, really, I just-”

“Relax, darling. Truth is, I’m desperate for a roommate. My friend, Ragnor? God, it was awful. He wouldn’t stop having the loudest sex and, really, you know how these Brooklyn walls are. Too thin for much privacy, really. And, unfortunately, I’m not much of a voyeur.” He frowns regretfully. “It could have been fun. Anyway, as it was, I had to tell him that it was either him or the revolving door of men, and one of them had to go. Now he lives in East Harlem with Raphael, across the hall from Señora Martinez. Lovely old lady. Deaf as can be, bless her soul.”

Alec, for some reason, looks scandalized. “He was having sex? With men?”

Magnus feels his eyes grow hard. Of course, this guy was too good to be true. “If that’s a problem…”

Alec’s eyes widen, “No! God, no. It’s not… Nothing like that. I’m sorry, it’s just… God, it would be a bit ironic if I had a problem with it… I just.” He shakes his head, hair falling in front of his face, his voice going dark, “I’m just not used to people being so okay with it. It’s nice, more than, actually. I’m just not… Used to it, you know?”

Oh. Oh. Suddenly, several things click for Magnus. One, this is one practically edible, very likely at least queer man. Two, he wants to move in. With Magnus. Three, he’s clearly been through… something. Magnus feels a pang in his chest, remembering what it was like to be scared of who he was growing up.

There are a lot of things he wants to say to the boy in front of him. He doesn’t say any of them. Instead, he smiles softly and opens the door a bit further, inviting Alec in. “So, Alec? Is it short for something? Alexander, perhaps?”

Alec nods. “But, uh, Izzy and Jace-” He swallows, “People, uh, usually just call me Alec.”

“I see.” Magnus does. “So, Alexander, I am rather desperate for a roommate. I can help you move your things. What do you say?”

Alec’s eyes widen again. “You mean it? Today?”

“I don’t see why not.”

Magnus sees a genuine smile on Alec’s face and it’s like looking at sunshine. He needs to find out how to make the younger man do it again. And again, and again until Magnus dies from how beautiful it is, probably. “Oh, wow. Okay. Thank you, thank you so much.”

He’s fully moved in by 6:00 that night.

…

Magnus offers Alec a job tending bar at Pandemonium, his club. “It’s no big deal,” He muttered, secretly pleased by Alec’s surprised happiness and relief. So what if he wanted to see that smile again? Sue him. “We need a new bartender.”

Alec’s good at his job, really. Magnus doesn’t even make him wear the sparkly vest that’s usually mandatory.

Over the next five or six months, movies on Friday before their shifts at the club start are practically mandatory. They fall into a routine; Alec makes popcorn while Magnus slides a DVD into the player. They watch it together under the massive, fuzzy blue blanket Catarina gave Alec on his birthday last month. There hadn’t been a party, not really- Magnus still frowns at the memory of Alec’s dark look: “I just want to get so drunk I can’t see straight”- and the evidence of several sleepless nights in the bags under his eyes.

Magnus learns about Alec. He learns that Alec never shops for clothes, that he’s got no sense of fashion, that he doesn’t like mango smoothies and he takes his coffee black. He learns that Alec doesn’t have any friends in the city, that the only friends he had, he left behind. He learns that Alec left his home and whatever family he had, but he doesn’t learn why. He doesn’t ask, so Alec doesn’t tell.

Magnus holds Alec close, sometimes, when the other boy has a bad day. They lean against each other under the blanket, a movie playing quietly in the background. He pretends not to notice when Alec’s shoulders shake and he bites his nails to the quick. He pretends not to notice when he sees Alec stare out the window instead of at the TV, an expression of sadness on his face that Magnus can barely comprehend.

He pretends not to know how vulnerable it makes Alec feel to hold onto something, someone. He pretends not to know how much it means that Alec chose him, Magnus, to hold him, to care about him, to see him like this.

It might not be as healthy as it could be, but it works for them.

They become friends, closer with every week. It’s a good setup- Alec pays his rent, usually a week or two early, and he cleans up after himself (and Magnus, sometimes), and he doesn’t bring people home at all hours of the night to have marathon sex in the room next to Magnus’. He’s so unlike Ragnor that it’s almost bizarre living with him.

On the other hand, though, he’s got a lot in common with Magnus’ old friend. He’s quiet, almost too much so. He goes through ruts, Magnus notices, of, well, sort of depressive behavior? There will be days when he doesn’t leave his room, doesn’t eat, doesn’t speak or make eye contact with Magnus. Nights where he won’t sleep, sometimes for days. Magnus will ask if he’s okay, ask what’s wrong, ask if Alec wants to talk about something.

The answer is always a head shake.

No. No, I’m not okay, there’s nothing wrong- nothing you could understand, I don’t want to talk about it.

One day, Magnus walks into the living room to see Alec already there. Sitting on the couch, his shoulders hunched inwards, his posture that of a man defeated. He’s holding a photograph. There are three kids in it. The first is small and blond, barely on the healthy side of skinny, his cheeks more hollow than any seven-year-olds should be. The other is a girl, sitting by his feet. She’s got dark hair so black it looks almost blue and eyes to match. Neither of them is looking at the camera, instead, gazing at the third person in the picture. Both of them stare at him as though they could see nothing else, but his gaze is fixed ahead, a serious expression planted on his face, the only tell a quirk in his mouth. He’s got the girl’s hair and the boy’s eyes- a stunning combination. It had always been Magnus’ favorite. He looks a bit like Alec, Magnus thinks.

Then, suddenly, Magnus realizes several things. Alec had vaguely mentioned having family and being forced to leave for some reason. Did he have… Was he… Married? Were these… Did he have kids? Magnus had assumed a bad breakup, maybe, but not… This.

Alec took a deep breath, his pain suddenly in the air, vibrating and tense, like a tangible thing. No matter who the people in that photo were, it was clear that they were important to Alec and that he missed them greatly. Magnus felt like he had stumbled in on an intimate moment like he was interrupting something he should never have seen. It’s too late now, though, because he knows Alec heard him, knows by the way his shoulders stiffened and he took a grounding breath.

“Alec?”

“It’s nothing.” Magnus watches as the black-haired boy puts the photo in his pocket, back still turned. “Just… It’s been a long day. I think… I think I’m going to call in sick tonight if that’s okay?”

Magnus nods, “Yes, of course. Are you-”

“I think I’m going to go to my room now.” Alec’s voice is stiff, the set of his shoulders is tense. “I’ll just…” He drags a hand through his hair, aggravated, “Yeah. Goodnight, Magnus.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
